What are the responsibilities and job description for the Chief Vibe Officer (CVO) position at MOTIF®?
🎉 URGENT HIRING: Chief Vibe Officer (CVO)🎉
Location: Remote *(Must Have Aesthetic Lighting and a Fake Plant in Your Zoom Background)*
About Us:
We’re a “disruptive” not soo startup that’s definitely going to IPO any day now (trust us). Our mission? To monetize vibes, commodify chill, and convince employees that burnout is ✨ *self-care* ✨.
The Role:**
As our Chief Vibe Officer**, you’ll be the Supreme Architect of Forced Positivity. Your job? Make our team forget they’re overworked, underpaid, and haven’t seen sunlight since 2020.
What You’ll Do:
- Host “Mindfulness Mondays” where you lead guided meditations to help everyone repress their existential dread.
- Turn layoffs into “vibe realignments” and budget cuts into “financial detoxes.”
- Flood Slack with GIFs of dancing otters to drown out complaints about missing paychecks.
- Invent “Wellness Challenges” like ”Who Can Reply to Emails Fastest While Crying?”
- Write LinkedIn posts for the CEO like: ”Why crying in the bathroom is the new networking.” Sorry Ash!!
You’re Perfect For This If You:
- Own a ”Good Vibes Only” neon sign (non-negotiable).
- Can say *”We’re a family!”* without gagging (bonus if you actually believe it).
- Have 2 years of experience in gaslighting, TikTok therapy, or writing horoscopes for corporate blogs.
- Think “quiet quitting” is just ✨ loud resting 😴 ✨.
- Can blame *anything* on Mercury retrograde (server crash? Supply chain issues? Karen from Accounting? Retrograde.).
We “Offer”:
- A “Vibe Check” bonus* (paid in exposure and expired kombucha).
- Unlimited access to our “Zen Den”* (a closet with a beanbag and a “No Panicking” sign).
- Company merch: “Hustle Harder” fanny pack stress ball shaped like a middle finger.
- “Flexible” hours (you’re always on call to fix the vibe).
How to Apply:
Send us a TikTok video of you doing a “corporate ASMR” whisper-tour of your home office OR a haiku titled “Ode to Passive-Aggressive Slack Emojis.”
Use #CVODreamJob so we know you’re ~vibing~.