Head Coach

Overview
We are seeking a passionate and dedicated Head Coach to lead our sports program. The ideal candidate will have a top-100 Madden 25 Rank, at least a 3rd grade education, does not eat pork, and votes Republican. There is a strong preference for anyone who can do basic math to navigate our current salary cap issues. Anyone with a working vehicle may apply. The final 4 candidates will have to participate in a Madden tournament to determine your football knowledge, ability to lead, and taste in hip-hop music. It is strongly recommended that you do not eat pork. This job will come with a Season pass to Six Flags, $50 Wal-Mart gift card, and season tickets to the Pelicans (Nosebleed only). Expectations for the position are as follows:

• Get Derek Carr to stop throwing Interceptions
• Beat the Falcons
• Not eat Pork
• Win a yearly Madden tournament against 5th grade Students
• Beat the Falcons again
• Collaborate with other coaches and staff to create a cohesive athletic program.
• Lie to fans
• Not lose to the Falcons

Experience

• Minimum of 100 Online Madden 25 victories
• Any job ever in history
• Ability to speak to 3rd grade students
• Speaks English
• Has never eaten pork

Join us in shaping the future of our athletes through dedicated coaching and mentorship!

Job Type: Contract

Pay: $7.25 - $10.00 per hour

Benefits:

• Employee discount
• Flexible schedule
• Flexible spending account
• Gym membership
• Health insurance
• Parental leave
• Tuition reimbursement

Schedule:

• 8 hour shift
• After school

People with a criminal record are encouraged to apply

Ability to Commute:

• New Orleans, LA 70130 (Preferred)

Ability to Relocate:

• New Orleans, LA 70130: Relocate before starting work (Preferred)

Work Location: In person

Salary : $7 - $10